Go See Rambo IV

Intro

I'm going to be honest with you. The new Rambo is the single best movie ever created. Not just of the series either. I watched the entire series the day it was released in theaters again, just to make sure it would be better than all of those. Little did I know it would surpass my expectations of every film I've ever watched and every film I ever will watch. I tried enjoying a different movie just the other day, and I was bored out of my mind just because it wasn't Rambo IV.

There Goes Another Arm

The effects in this movie are like none other. The amount of detail you witness as hole after hole is blown through the chest of Rambo's victims is just insane. Massive waves of blood erupt with every explosion, along with the body parts that are no longer willing to be attached.

War Is In His Blood And All Over His Hands

Rambo doesn't kill because he loves America. Rambo kills because he loves killing people. With his hands, guns, arrows, knives, and a giant .50-caliber machinegun. They don't bullshit you with one or two giant fight scenes at the end. There will be deaths throughout the film to make for a total of 236 fatalities.

For maximum enjoyment, pay close attention as soon as you see this on the screen.

I Already Know Rambo Is Awesome

If you already know who Rambo is, you'll enjoy this even more then. There is way more action, with a couple of classic moves too. The start of the movie is where he gets ready, just like all the others, and then from there you will be thrown into combat. He is unstoppable at that point and will not get captured as he did in the other films. He doesn't have time for that. The dialogue is kept to a minimum because Rambo has no need to exchange words with someone who is already dead.

Conclusion

Disregard the advice of every film critic you've ever read, and go see it right now. The critics are just jealous because they're above 60 and deal with minor problems such as osteoporosis. The biggest problem Rambo had was not finding enough people to destroy.

I am not kidding right now though. You better see this goddamn movie. Do you understand that the piece of shit film "Meet The Spartans" did better in the box office at first because dumbasses like YOU decided to see it instead of Rambo? Go see this movie now. I've already seen it twice in theaters, and I will keep going as much as I can.